Harry Potter and the Search for Sadam, NAKY!
by Xachro
Summary: Well, this is my first fanfic, and its a PWP, I could never focus on anything longer than that, oh and the title has no relevance, oh and I'm a guy, ummm... thats it RnR! screw that, get down to the 53X! excuse stuff ups, I can't fix them, can sum 1 help?


Disclaimer:  
  
- I own every charecter in here, yep, thats right, everything, ESPECIALLY Harry Potter  
  
- Oh yeh, im not comfortable with drinking other peoples drinks... thought you might wanna know that...  
  
- oh and im straight... and im a guy... well... I am sorta straight, see there was this one time... errr... ahem... I didnt just say that cough  
  
- Umm.... yeh, pretty much discard above and replace with the cliched:  
  
- I dont own anything, no matter how much I wish I did, blah blah blah KA-SPLAT!, shit... wtf was that??? holy crap... that was like a bomb or something, wait... what kind of bomb goes KA-SPLAT??? oh well... I guess you'll have to read the rest...  
  
oh and just to get things straight... I DO NOT SAY "MWA" like the rest of you fanfiction people, that word is just strange.. so there will be no MWAing in this story, no MWA's, so MWA fans, go get your own white farts okay? yeh... thats right, no possums for you!  
  
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MWA!   
  
oh shit...  
  
One day in the middle of day three, of term three, of year six at school, Harry Potter (look thats way tooooo long for me to type... I'll just say... ummm... how about, "Queer" okay?) well Queer was sitting there looking at Hermione (also to long, mebe... "Nerd" that sound good?) and he stood up, walked across the class, which at the time was astronaught science with Snape. As he reached Nerd's desk he pulled the desk away from her, picked her up and moved her onto the ground, there he pulled up her robe, discovering that she wore nothing underneath, which suprised him, seeing that he didnt think of her as a slut. As he pulled her robe along her hot 17yr old body he exclaimed at how slender and perfect her legs were, and as he got closer to her pussy he began to swell at the pants. Of course all of this was quite random, people all around had no-idea what had happened, but of course the class had been segregated typically with the males, including Snape, the pedifile, cat calling and watching Nerd's fine body, with the girls typically calling out about different ways to extend your orgasm and how to make him scream with pleasure. This kind of thing wasn't found as weird at this school, oh no, this happened pretty much everyday, hell, yesterday it had been Ron and Snape, why not? Anyway, Queer had finally reached the point of no return, he had almost revealed Nerd's lower region, He gulped, then with a quick move revealed her pussy. Of course that was what he was expecting, instead he found smoothed over skin, nothing of either sex. Queer quickly inhaled air in exclamation and exhaled at the same time, a feat that untill that day everyone thought was impossible. As this happened a sudden tearing sound happened as Ron ripped off his pants and jumped out the window. Of course the above mentioned Inhaling and Exhaling resulted in Queer blowing up, hell, noone liked him anyway. As the class was splattered with blood the bell rang, and everyone jumped on their tables and screamed out "HIPPO!".  
  
Later that day at lunch Nerd and Queer were talking about their earlier encounter, Nerd explained that she was an alien, and suddenly mutated in a weird and disfigured way, suddenly she became a blob with no distinguishable features and used her super rocket booster to fly through the roof and into space. Queer then realised that he was dead and he blew up again, Snape walked in and made the sound of the bell ringing and everyone crawled under their desks and started singing "raindrops keep falling on my head, im just like a guy who's feet are too big for his bed, nothing seems to fit, those raindrops keep falling on my head they keep falling so I just did...". This singing continued into the afternoon, which had ended a few minutes ago. Of course this could not happen without the token Ginny stripping, so Ginny jumped up on the table and started ripping off clothes, and as per-usual she got the constant cat-calls from Dumbledore and Megonagall (how is it spelt?). Then as her final clothes descended from her perfectely slender and slightly tanned body a gasp was emitted from the crowd, because she, unlike everyone else, was completely normal. Her breasts were perfectly sized so that they were perfect for cupping, her nipples were small and poky, not huge round features. Her figure then tapered in at her waist, then went outwards in that perfect bell shape to her hips, moving down her long slender legs. Suddenly she jumped off her perch spun in the air and jumped out of the monitor which was viewing the highly-discriptive content inside. As she breached through the wall of fiction - real life she was encased in an all leather suit, she then continued to bash all the sick little 14 year olds who were either completely aroused or found her description so pleasing that they were 'pleasing themselves' over this writing.  
  
That night Draco was in bed with his mates crabe and goyle, they were all fiddling with eachother, Draco moved over and passionately kissed Crabe on the lips, Goyle, getting jealous, reached over and placed his mouth over Draco's..............  
  
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YOU SICK BASTARDS, whoever was aroused or interested with the above (except gays, its cool if you are) you are sick, SICK minded, infact I aught to slap you down to china town for that complete lack of normalism. I've seen other people (namely my female friends who also write fan fictions) read yaoi fics, infact i've even read the begginging of one that another one of my friends wrote, see I know what you girls like, it seems you like gay stuff, so just a quick yell from me: AUGHHHHH ERRRR GLAHHHH OADUFISUFGIADHJIASD, and all that.  
  
Well, hopefully everyone liked that, it had some straight action well for a bit, then hermione was an alien. It also had some ginny stripping action, untill you sickos got slapped down. Then it had some Yaoi, for those of you who like that shite (may I say EW!).  
  
If I get enough reviews and favourites (come on do it... you know you want to) I will probably write another on a lonely boring afternoon at home.  
  
Btw if there are any hot girls out there, please add me to   
  
and if you are unsure here is a picture of me in my "sexy   
  
ohh wait SHIT!  
  
no thats not me...  
  
here I   
  
yep... thats me  
  
I'm 15, male, I live in aus and im very horny... just ask my friends...  
  
oh wait... errr... my friends will read this... GAH! 


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